Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
her vagine was all disorganized.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
