Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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