careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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