OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
