It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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