do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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