So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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