help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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