you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
