i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
