I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
my poor anus
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
