this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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