have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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