i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
BRING THE BAGELS
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