Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
