I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
