He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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