erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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