She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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