8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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