I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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