why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
