If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
