We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
