well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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