Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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