I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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