The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
