Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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