whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize