this beer tastes like vomit already
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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