Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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