This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
