It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
