the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
