She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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