Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
