We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I am one with the molecules
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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