i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
