Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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