I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
