I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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