Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
