hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
