Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
