My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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