Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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