The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
