So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
