im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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